I was listening to Brene Brown’s new blog today, and she was talking about how, at the start of a big change, you can burn yourself out on adrenaline. You go hard out of the gate, and then you hit a wall. I’m feeling a touch of that tonight.
I promised I’d post on the blog every day, perhaps taking Sunday off. But I’m a man of my word, and this is just a freakin’ blog, so consider this a placeholder, the day’s end thoughts of a tired man. It’s been quite a week. Damn.
I’ve heard about three deaths in the last 36 hours, two of them family, or might-as-well-be-family. They were elderly, it was there time, but still…two in a short period of time is a lot. I’ll probably write more about that.
Then, just now, there was Bill Withers. Didn’t know him, but quite a songwriter, and that always matters to me. Another older man, everyone’s got to go some time, but…damn.
I also connected with someone in New York who’s very special to me, who is down with what he thinks is COVID, and it’s pretty bad. My heart goes out to him.
On top of that, I’m seeing what fear can do to someone, and the implacability of anger, and how you can reach a point of no return with anyone. That’s feeling like yet another death as well. As in, there may be no Lazarus act. F*#k.
My heart goes out to everyone, everyone who’s suffering, COVID or not, fear of COVID, or just being dumb humans and setting yourself up for tragedy. Like, I go by Target on my bike, and there are dozens of people going in and out, no masks, and it’s like…are you paying attention? Then a friend reports on a party in East Sac, grown people, having a party like it’s no big deal. What is the…
Anyway, it’s all exhausting, isn’t it? Even the excitement, even the creativity, even the beautiful bike rides, even all the possibilities.
I’m so happy I can sleep. Some people can’t sleep very well right now. So at the end of the day, I’m grateful. I’m going to go to sleep right now.
Sweet dreams, everyone.
(OK, worst blog post ever. But I did it.)